1) If you had asked me three or four years ago I would have said yes, but now I gots to say the nay-no. One of the things I've come to realize is that growing dreads is an experience that can only truly be understood by those who have the experience. You always have open minded people who are accepting of dreads, but even my black people don't really "understand" what they are, how they are formed, why they look the way they do, etc. A lot of people can accept dreads, but Very few people can truly "understand" and embrace deads without having grown them; especially women who have always had a perm and guys with nappy hair who have never grown their hair out to an significant length. I've always known i'd grow dreads. Most black people spend their whole lives trying to escape their nappiness, whether it be through perms or cornrows, we're always looking for a way to pull, stretch, and chemically degrade the integrity of our nappy hair. Essentiallly, we've conditioned ourselves to not be accepting of and understand dreads. The very gooming habits that we practice in order to degrade our happy hair are what gradually degrade our understanding and embracing of dreadlocks. 2. I'm not sure about this one, because I've gone through a lot with my family concerning my dreads. As a freeformer, In the beginning they looked like sh*t and I caught hell for it. My mom was literally ashamed of me and asked me not to go to church like that. My favorite aunt begged me to cut my hair off or at least go back to cornrows. The only people who were truly supportive were my girlfriend at the time and perhaps my sister, who both admired my willingness to be different even at the expense of being ridiculed. But after about a year and a half, when my locks started to mature and stopped looking like a mangled mess, attitudes changed. at the 3 year mark, my mother and aunt were marveling at how beautiful they were. They even told me that I was always meant to have them and that they liked them better than the way I used to have my hair cut close. My aunt has bee wanting locks for the last two years because of how well she likes how mine turned out (doesn't have the patience to go through with it though). So I think at first, I think they didn't accept the locks. After a while, it was just a matter of accepting/tolerating the locks because I was family, then they finally came to trully accept and appreciate them. I guess my overall answer would be no, because when you think about it, my family have basically been the equivalent of fair weather fans who only support their team when they are doing well. If you can't understand and appreciate the entire process j(not just the end result), then you don't truly understand and appreciate the locks. I do think that my family has let go of the negative stereotypes about locks being dirty and gritty because they've seen how clean mine look every time they see me. 3) Yes, people do indeed suffer from "possession of the other" syndrome. I am very conscious of the fact that a lot of people approach me because they are curious about my hair and are intrigued by the fact that my hair style looks very rebellious/militant. For some women (especially white women), I represent something exotic, rebelllious, and a little dangerous (even though I am none of these). 4) An affinity for women with natural hair is one of those things I never would have anticipated in myself, even though, in retrospect, i've always intuitively lived it. For whateve reason, I've never been attracted to women with perms and everyone I've dated has worn their hair natural... In fact, one woman who did have a perm the day I met her shaved her head bald shortly after we started dating and has worn it naturally ever since. I think that, to some degree, relaxed hair is an implicit rejection of nappy culture. As I said when I answere the first question, I think it's nothing more than an attempt to escape nappiness and a subliminal way of conditioning yourself to hate and reject natural hair. It's kind of like the house slave who gradually begins to look upon the field slaves with scorn and rejection because he/she has been conditioned to think that his/her status is somehow superior. I can't ever see myself dating a woman with a perm. I don't exactly know why either. Just doesn't appeal to me in a lot of ways and I generally don't find myself attracted to them. I think that I kind of intuitively assume that, because they would not wear their hair natural, they don't appreciate dreads and that they wouldn't be attracted to me anyway. Not saying that this is right or fair, it's just my perception and, for the most part, i've been correct. Women who appreciate me are generally BoHo types who also have natural hair styles. Most other women look at me as some sort of exotic odyssey or else a militant artsy type... and for whatever reason they can't seem to get past these stereotypes. It's beyond them to think that maybe I'm just a regular guy who happens to have dreads.

This fella has hit the nail on the head!!!!! I am currently going into my 3rd year with locks and i've received the same type of response from family and friends from start to present.

I think it's crazy to say you have to have dreads to love and to understand them! I've never had dreads but I think they're beautiful. I myself judge someone on who they are and not their hair. It's sad though that so many non-dreaded people have such nasty attitudes and stereotypes about dreadlocks. My own hair is blonde, fine and like silk..Not the kind that would dread well unfortunately. I love looking at locks on other people though, they're just facinating to me. I always felt this way, from the moment I saw them...I remember the first time I touched a guy's dreads. It was the most amazing thing to me and NOTHING like what the haters might think. Well cared for locks smell nice and feel nice, soft and scratchy like wool. They're amazingly strong too and can withstand the elements. They can be tied back with the other dreads, without a rubber band or barette. In a way i sort of envy people who can grow nice looking locks. As I fumble with my flat iron and blow dryer I sometimes daydream about what it would be like to just STOP brushing my hair and let nature take over. If I had good hair for it and a job that was accepting I probably would have gone 'natural' years ago! I will always find dreadlocks sexy on a guy. I'm not even a 'hippie' type of women. I guess a lot of people are just ignorant or don't understand. What a sad story above about the wife who made her man chop off his locks! NOOOO! That's so uncool, That poor, foolish woman doesn't even know. She may never understand...the joy of making love to a guy and having his locks gently brush on sensitive skin, like on the neck or thighs.....or the scent when they've just been washed and you bury your nose in them and inhale deeply.....And what about those times you just lay there and stroke them, looking at each one in all it's gnarled, twisted, knotty perfection? It's a shame some people don't see the beauty in this. I know I do! So to answer the question YES, anyone can love a dread no matter what their hair looks like! Lots of couples find love, even when one has hair of wool and the other has hair of silk, or when one has ivory skin and the other has brown. When I love someone, I love every part, regardless of what their hair looks like!

I am a black man with Locks, and I feel so hurt that in this day and age we (black people) still have a hard time excepting our natural selves. I have noticed all my life that black people love black people as long as we are as far from black as possible. I have only dated one black woman in my life and she wore a perm and let me know at every turn that she hated locks. I need to be with a sister with Locks who will understand my pride with my natural self. God bless you all.